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TFI Daily News

World News for World Changers

Jun 12

The epitome of wordliness

By Dave Barry, Miami Herald (back column)

Q. Do you have examples of excellent language use sent in by actual readers?

A. Of course:

* An alert Missouri reader sent in a newsletter from Rocky Mountain National Park containing this tip for visitors: “Avoid the traffic by using one of the park’s shuttle buses and view the elk rut with a park ranger.”

* Nan Bell and Elisabeth Lindsay sent in an Associated Press article concerning efforts to identify the person whose leg washed ashore in Bodega Bay, Calif., containing this quote from an official of the coroner’s office: “We were stumped, basically.”

* Claudette Knieriem sent in a Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader classified ad for a child-care center that says: “FUN AT PLAY where it’s creative, safe, wholesome and neutering.”

* Larry and Suzanne Tingley sent in an article from the Watertown (N.Y.) Daily Times stating that the Lewis County Board of Legislators had authorized the creation of a petty cash fund “for the weekly purchase of dry ice, used for incest control.”

* Dolores Evans sent in an article from Harrisburg (Pa.) Patriot News headlined: “Smoking organ causes stir at nursing home.”

* Roy Winter sent in a New Orleans Times-Picayune article concerning a breakout at an animal-research facility, headlined: “Tulane center monkeys escape; half are captured in time for dinner.”

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